Tuesday, May 12

Of thoughts at 3 in the morning...


If you have been following closely, you'd have noticed that i've been very steadily producing new pieces in the last 2 weeks ~ jewellery, hair pieces, bridal pieces. I think i finally got the groove going, wooot!

Moving into the craft room have definitely provided a great boost in the productivity area. I'm finally able to separate work and rest and concentrate on both! (Even if i'm still sleeping at 5 in the morning) It has also been exhilarating not to contain myself to only making brooches or hairpieces and exploring and venturing and doing more. I have had a lot of fun witht the new pieces and i'd love to hear if any of you have got any feedback on them :)

And lately i also noticed something a lil' weird that made me think if i'm going a little crazy.

I will be very happily producing and creating and making things during the day and evening. But at the wee hours that i'm up (like now), i tend to get very emotionally charged. For no reasons it seemed, i tend to dwell. On the past. On the future. On whether i should be getting a proper job. On what sort of job i should be doing. On whether sales will pick up. On things to make. On the goals i should be making. On the ones i made. On the things i ought to be doing.

And i drive myself crazy with these thoughts!

Even though i have not for once regretted leaving my well paying job to venture on a more soulful ambition, I wonder. I question the future. And sometimes i get upset. Not to get all negative nancy on you, but i scare myself a little sometimes, you know. With my own thoughts. And its not that i'm unhappy, this is prolly the happiest i've been in a while. I am certain that the corporate world is not for me. I know that this is what i want to be doing. So why oh why am i feeling like this?!

Aaahhhhh, the things i think about at 3 in the morning... do you think i'm going crazy?


2 comments:

  1. I know for a fact that you are NOT crazy. You are a creative soul that thrives in your own creative process. If you read deeper into The Artist's Way you will see that everything you are experiencing is expected and natural and that what you are feeling is that creative tension we all feel when we are stretching our wings and learning to fly. I'm so glad for you to be feeling these growing pains and emerging as the strong shining creative light that you are meant to be! And I love the new pieces, by the way you are an inspiration to me!

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  2. YES! I know exactly what you mean. Though I have always worked for myself, venturing into self-employment straight out of college when all my business school peers were getting corporate jobs was tough. Actually, they thought I was crazy. And the closer I get to going into my purpose, making under, the more I feel like a Super Mario cloud jumping, hoping that the next fluffy step will be there, realizing there is a long way down below.

    One specific time I felt this really clearly I wrote about it here: http://makeundermylife.com/dear-diary-how-ted-saved-my-day/

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